Almost 12 years ago I started to learn about and targeted Winter Steelhead in the Vedder/Chilliwack River of British Columbia. That fish had me obsessed. I can remember my first winter season trying to learn as much as I could about Steelhead, I bought books, I inquired of any angler that would share on them, I even took an 3-hour evening course at my local fishing shop. I was ambitiously determined to catch a Winter Steelhead during my first season.
Winter Steelhead in this river are not easy to catch. They've got nicknames like "a fish of a thousand casts", or "white ghosts" and many more. That first winter season I put on some serious river mileage on the V/C River, and that's usually the case not only to find your own water (busy river at times, especially today) but to find the fish. Winter Steelhead can be aggressive biters, but you need to find them.
That first year, I had some wild and heart breaking trips! I can recall hooking into my first Winter Steelhead just above an old beaver dam and log section, there were multiple places to snag and loose this fish. I applied a lot of pressure and the current was ripping near my feet. My father-in-law was with me and was walking toward me with the net, the anglers on the other side of the river stopped fishing to watch me fight this fish. I was so green and the adrenaline of finally hooking into a Steelhead after all these trips and hours I probably put more pressure than I had to on this fish. Anyway, long story short I ended up losing the fish not far from shore, I didn't even get a greatest look but it was certainly in that 10#-15# class of fish.
That loss was probably the worst fish loss I've ever had as an angler. The reason for that is two part: one is the amount of time I'd put into trying to hook one of these fish in that first year, the second was this was early in my river fishing career and I hadn't suffered big losses like this yet, over the years I've lost plenty but I learn to how to handle them differently now.
Anyway, that fish drove me mad! In the words of Donkey, "you cut me deep Shrek". I became even more determined to catch a Steelhead that Winter Season.
And the long-story-short of that winter, I don't know how many trips or casts I took, there were more bites, and lost another fish at the tail end of the Steelhead season but I never brought a fish to shore. Winter Steelhead became this mystical fish that I kept fantasizing about catching and probably over obsession in my cranium to be honest.
The second Winter season came along and I had put plenty of time on the river chasing Salmon throughout the Fall, so I was dialing in my float fishing abilities; learning to better mend my line, finding the right depth, finding the right water speed and getting a perfect drift. The Fall time out and all the previous Winter learning from last season paid off, it was in February and I finally starting putting some pieces together and got into 3 Steelhead in one day!
I can recall the first Steelhead I landed (see the photo below), it was a small Buck that I hooked in a tiny slower pocket in fast water, this fish tore down the run and jumped countless times! It wasn't a giant but was a fish I'll never forget, it was a wild buck so could not be retained, I took a quick photo and sent him back (hence the poor photo as I was solo fishing).
I ended up getting the paired doe in that same run and an angler happened to be walking by at the same time, so took a photo for me. Again, this was a smaller Steelhead but I was over the moon at this point, 2 fish in one day I hadn't caught any in how many trips!?
I ended my trip by trying one last run further down river. That would be my last run before heading home, and it paid off handsomely, in the middle of this wide shallow run I hooked my biggest Steelhead yet. It tore down the run and running deep and shallow throughout the wide run, I can remember trying to see if it had an adipose fin as it was coming in over the shallow rocks. When I saw it didn't have a fin and was a hatchery fish, I towed that baby onto the shore and pounced on it like a Grizzly. It was a 11# Winter Steelhead Doe. One of the most beautiful fish I've ever caught, perhaps true to this day. I bonked it and packed up. I'll never forget that day.
No Fish Will Satisfy You
But here's the big point of this journal. As already mentioned I was obsessed with trying to catch one Winter Steelhead, and after that day, I felt a massive accomplishment and satisfaction ... BUT that faded, and the obsession never stopped, and that unsatisfied sense I had before continued to grow. The entire dance started all over again, and I had to keep chasing after Winter Steelhead.
Now if you're an angler, I'd almost guarantee you understand this pursuit and drive. As I've gotten older, I've started to think about that pursuit and drive. What is this that drives me? And what am I actually striving for? I thought a Steelhead would satisfy that, but it didn't.
Now as a more established angler (if I do say so myself), I've noticed this pattern in so many species and areas. One pursuit after another, but the drive returns and it's never done. I think that's part of the reason why I love fishing so much, it's a lifetime of learning and pursuit. But what happens when I put too much stock in fishing. If it becomes my everything, if there is truly never an arrival point, think about it for a moment, I'm on an endless pursuit with no lasting satisfaction, and dare I say peace.
And that's where I want to land this journal. Where do we find our real lasting satisfaction and peace in life? After years of fishing and countless fish, I can tell you its not there. Consider some bigger questions, where does this fishing obsession come from? Or perhaps where do fish even come from? Where do you come from? Big questions.
But I think these bigger questions are the ones that start to put that satisfaction and peace picture together. You see, I've found there are answers to these questions. There was a start to this universe, to this planet, there is a creator, and the creator is infinitely imaginative and welcomes you to enjoy his creation. And even greater than that, He welcomes you into relationship and to know Him. Through my experience, deep study and most importantly a gracious invitation, I believe that creator and answer to that peace and satisfaction (including our ongoing fishing pursuit) questions in our lives is answered in a relationship with Jesus. Jesus who was in the beginning (John 1:1-5), who came as a human born as a vulnerable baby in the 1st century AD, lived the human life demonstrating empathy for us, and while doing so lived a perfect life without blemish, so that he could ultimately die and be a one-time sacrifice for all time to conqueror and remove something called sin we all carry.
This is the gospel, and belief in these point of Jesus of what he came to do and what he's continuing to do today and ultimately who He is, these answers are the true anglers satisfaction. These answers are the anglers finished pursuit and peace.
As an older angler I'm telling you no fish will satisfy, it is not the creation that brings peace, but relationship with the creator. A relationship with one nicknamed "the Prince of Peace". If you're looking for joy or something more in the creation, you first need to find it in the creator.
Blessings Jesse